Where are all my conflict-avoidant introverts? My small “s” stoics?

The same thing that can make us compassionate, patient, and focused on kindness… can also make it weirdly hard to speak up when we are being plant based in public.

If you ask for what you want,  it can FEEL like you’re being “high maintenance.”

And in MY head? “High maintenance” means I’m suddenly a “Real Housewife” on the Bravo Channel.

The Science: When our brains think belonging = safety,  social disapproval feels like danger.

So we fall into a false choice:

• Option A: be “easy,” be quiet, don’t make a fuss
• Option B: be a screaming diva in a reality show

But there’s a third option:

Calm, clear, normal self-advocacy.
Not a scene. Not a speech. Not a statement.
Just… asking.

For many people, the hardest part of being plant-based isn’t the food.
It’s the asking.

It’s the moment you’re not sure if the soup has chicken stock…
or the vegetables were cooked in butter…
or the “no cheese” request feels like it will slow down everyone else’s dinner.

So you choose the quiet option.

And the person you inconvenience… is YOU.

Reader’s Challenge: The Lemon Challenge 🍋

For the next 7 days, make one small ask per day.

One. Small. Ask.

A table move.
A lemon wedge.
A side swap.
A question about ingredients.
A vegan request.
Or even asking for 10 minutes of help or quiet time so you can do something that matters only to YOU.

The goal is not getting a yes.
The goal is making the ask—training your nervous system that you can be clear and still be safe.

How you go vegan is how you do everything…
If you can learn to ask for what you need as a “vegan in the wild”, you can learn to ask for what you need in your whole life.